I couldn’t do it!

Okay I chickened out going to the hospice this morning because I felt that if I went in myself I would cry all the time. 🥺😩😭 So my husband John took all my homemade cards instead. He said that they were extremely grateful and a few of the staff were saying “oh I like this one and that one” which made me feel happy. 😊 Apparently they are having a Christmas fair this weekend so they said that they’d arrived at the perfect time. 🌲

I took out the always look on the bright side of life card 😬 that might be more suitable for the Salvation Army charity shop.

I’ve had so many feelings over the weekend, I suppose it’s because it’s this time of year again and the memories keep flooding back and when I combine all of the three major happenings, the death of my mum last Christmas Eve which prompted me to write the following five little angels poem for her funeral as shown below.

Five little angels knew mum’s time was near

folding their wings around her, they said do not fear

Four little angels arranged for a choir to sing some hymns,

knowing the comfort their voices would bring

Three little angels told mum to look into the light,

following their guidance, she saw a beautiful sight

Two little angels saw mum’s family waiting,  their arms outstretched

so they gently passed mum over, to her final rest

One little angel said, don’t be sad, you won’t be far apart

although you can’t see her, she is forever in your heart.

❤️Mum ❤️

My Myxoma removal in May

I never did show you my scar properly did I ? 😱 sorry I couldn’t resist! 😈

I’m quite proud of this scar and admire the surgeon so much he is a wonderful man ❤️

Finally

It feels like the end of a long painful process and yet I know that it’s just the beginning of something new. New beginnings are good but yet also a little bit scary.

Scary looking cat!

Those cards carried all my emotions and I should feel as light as a feather and in a strange way I do but now I know I’ve got to somehow get my five little angels poetry published. 🤔 I might look at the self publishing route on Amazon.

Come on angels give me some inspiration 😇😇😇😇😇

Anyway I’ve survived ☺️ I’m a survivor 🥳

I’m sure my way forward will show itself in due course and until then I will carry on painting digitally.
Whilst sharing the footstool with Mia!
When she lets me!

It’s onwards and upwards now!

Thanks for reading, listening, viewing, commiserating, laughing and for just being YOURSELVES ❤️ I love you all. x

Gallery visit

One of my neighbours asked me if I would like to accompany her to an art gallery to see the new artwork created by a local artist. She had done some promotional posters for him and he had invited her along to this private showing which was being held in a nearby town.

It began at 7pm but my neighbour said it wasn’t fashionable to arrive first! So she drove very slowly to the venue, so slowly in fact that it caused the person driving behind us to blow their horn 😬

After three attempts to park near to the venue my neighbour managed to get a space close to the gallery and we walked inside. Within minutes we were both offered either orange juice or wine. We both had orange juice 😇 😇

I noticed that people were clambering to get near to the artist who paintings were being displayed which made me smile. We walked around looking at his paintings on the walls stopping many times to talk to my neighbours friends, she introduced me to them telling them I was an artist 😳 which made me feel embarrassed because I don’t class myself as an artist, just someone who likes to paint.

My neighbour wandered off trying to catch a few words with the “artist “ and I hung back looking at some of the other work on the walls. I saw some gorgeous art on the walls a Lowry type painting and although the figures weren’t matchsticks the colours were beautiful and some fantastic glass birds, fishes and cats 😊. Why is artwork so expensive. 😭

Later I was talking to a man and we were stood near the most expensive piece of artwork in the gallery. Someone had just bought it and the gallery owner was putting the reserved sticker on it. “ You weren’t wanting this one were you she asked”. “No it’s okay” we both replied then looked at each other and laughed. “ Are you here to buy” the man asked me. “No” I replied, “are you”? “I’m not, he said, I just like the wine and a trip out. 🙄

My neighbour finally got the chance to speak to the artist, she didn’t introduce me to him thank goodness 😊 and then we came home.

That was my first trip to a gallery and hopefully not my last but next time I would prefer to be early so I could have plenty of room to walk around.

31 October 2018

Twelve months ago today Mum,John, my sister and I went to the hospital to get the results of mum’s recent CT scan. The specialist was such a lovely man even mum liked him! 😉 He gave us the sad news that mum had stage four cancer in various places and nothing could be done but to give pain relief. I think that he was shocked how we all took the news, I suppose he was used to people breaking down but we were just relieved that finally we had an answer to why mum was having so much back pain.

We left the hospital and went back to mums house all shaking our heads, the doctor had been giving her rubbing cream thinking it was arthritis when it was actually bone cancer. Mum had asked the specialist how much time she had left and he had replied, months! Mum actually lived seven weeks after that diagnosis.

I am a great preacher of the statement light always follows darkness because it’s true, life goes on because it’s meant to be that way. We are put on this earth to enjoy life, life can and often is painful but there is also so much joy to be had.

Please remember light always follows darkness.

31 October 2019

Today John and I are going to pick up Mia the elderly cat with a heart problem from the cat shelter 🙄🤷‍♀️😇 We are ready for our new arrival even though Pricilla is not impressed!

I told her to get down!

Hmm 🤔 I hope all goes well.
Have a great day ❤️

Awake in the night 2

Last week I went shopping with my sister to a small retail park where there is a well known food hall in England. Once inside I decided to buy a meal deal which offered a main course, a side dish, a desert and a choice of a bottle of wine or two soft drinks. Believe it or I’m not a wine drinker 😱 I was looking for the soft drinks but the only thing I could see was a bottle of Buck’s Fizz … so… because I’m going away later this year with my sister, daughters and granddaughter to a forest retreat I thought that it would go down well with our breakfast. So I picked up a bottle and carried it to the checkout.

When it was my turn to be served the cashier asked me if I had a voucher which gave money off for the meal deal to which I replied no. She then told me that the meal deal charge had not been deducted and she called her supervisor over to assist. She whispered to me that she had given me the discount which was worth £5 but not to mention it to the supervisor.

The supervisor was a nice gentleman who took me over to another area to sort out the issue. I was hoping that he wouldn’t ask me if I had given in a voucher for the discount because I find it very difficult to tell a lie whilst equally I did not want to get the cashier into trouble for her kindness. 😬

He then said that he saw the problem! The Buck’s Fizz was classed as a soft drink 😳 and I needed another bottle of it 🙏 and then he gave me a refund of £5.

My sister and I left the shop and outside was a young homeless guy that I had seen before along with his dog. So when I walked past him I bent forward and gave him the £5 note. His face was a picture, he was clearly amazed, Then he said God bless you which surprised me . I class myself as spiritual rather than religious and I wondered why he felt the need to say those words.

Perhaps he thought they were words I needed to hear? Or perhaps he thought that only a religious person would give him money? Perhaps he was religious himself. I personally don’t think that you have to be religious to be a loving, giving, kind person. But then what do I know! 🤔

I kept thinking about this for the last week and I hope that he didn’t spend the money on drink or drugs but again that was his choice and his decision to make!

All I did was pass a kindness down the line, the cashier had given me the voucher, the supervisor had given me another bottle of Buck’s Fizz and some money back and I had passed it down to someone in need.

It was a great feeling shared amongst all of us, give it a try yourself sometime because to give actually feels better giving than receiving. 😇

Welcome, a new addition to our family ❤️

I’ve been wanting a pet for a long time now but due to living in a second floor apartment it would be impossible to have a cat because they are only allowed on the ground floor where they can go in and out through their individual apartment windows.

But me being me I’ve broke the rules and bought myself a pet, surely they can’t object!

Meet Pricilla the pig
She’s so cute and she doesn’t seem to mind when I put my feet on her back either ❤️ I might get an elephant next 😉

It’s raining cats and dogs here in England

It’s raining cats 🐈 and dogs 🐕 here in England and it feels so good after the last few days. It was my uncle’s funeral yesterday he was my mum’s younger brother. The funeral director was surprised to see us so soon after mums funeral in January and I sincerely hope we don’t see her anytime soon even if she is a lovely lady.

As it was with mum it was down to my sister and I to dissemble his happy home 😢 my sister was great because she didn’t want me to do too much after my recent surgery so she and John did the lions share. I did the above floor level light cleaning. I think my uncle must have had a thing for the lady who owned the shop in town which sold cleaning materials because he had so many dusters and bottles of cleaning stuff you wouldn’t believe. ( it’s a shame he didn’t use them more )😉 I expect her shop will have a drop in the takings now he’s gone over to the other side 🙄

This year has been a challenging year for me and I couldn’t help thinking that it could have been me being waved off yesterday and I thank God it wasn’t me. There were only eleven of us at the service because he was a very quiet man who kept himself to himself. He had a good sense of humour and I got on very well with him as did my sister and John. He reminded me so much of mum because he had so many of her mannerisms which I found so lovely because it felt like a part of her was still here.

John reminded me in the night that mum will always be around because she is a part of me. I know without doubt that she sits in my heart along with my dad and now uncle. (It’s a good job they removed that tumour in my heart to make more room) 😬

Life is not always easy , but life is precious and although I do feel sad today I will not allow grief to consume me. I will carry on painting and trying to encourage others to enjoy the time we have here on earth and to believe that eventually we will be with our loved ones again. ❤️