I couldn’t do it!

Okay I chickened out going to the hospice this morning because I felt that if I went in myself I would cry all the time. 🥺😩😭 So my husband John took all my homemade cards instead. He said that they were extremely grateful and a few of the staff were saying “oh I like this one and that one” which made me feel happy. 😊 Apparently they are having a Christmas fair this weekend so they said that they’d arrived at the perfect time. 🌲

I took out the always look on the bright side of life card 😬 that might be more suitable for the Salvation Army charity shop.

I’ve had so many feelings over the weekend, I suppose it’s because it’s this time of year again and the memories keep flooding back and when I combine all of the three major happenings, the death of my mum last Christmas Eve which prompted me to write the following five little angels poem for her funeral as shown below.

Five little angels knew mum’s time was near

folding their wings around her, they said do not fear

Four little angels arranged for a choir to sing some hymns,

knowing the comfort their voices would bring

Three little angels told mum to look into the light,

following their guidance, she saw a beautiful sight

Two little angels saw mum’s family waiting,  their arms outstretched

so they gently passed mum over, to her final rest

One little angel said, don’t be sad, you won’t be far apart

although you can’t see her, she is forever in your heart.

❤️Mum ❤️

My Myxoma removal in May

I never did show you my scar properly did I ? 😱 sorry I couldn’t resist! 😈

I’m quite proud of this scar and admire the surgeon so much he is a wonderful man ❤️

Finally

It feels like the end of a long painful process and yet I know that it’s just the beginning of something new. New beginnings are good but yet also a little bit scary.

Scary looking cat!

Those cards carried all my emotions and I should feel as light as a feather and in a strange way I do but now I know I’ve got to somehow get my five little angels poetry published. 🤔 I might look at the self publishing route on Amazon.

Come on angels give me some inspiration 😇😇😇😇😇

Anyway I’ve survived ☺️ I’m a survivor 🥳

I’m sure my way forward will show itself in due course and until then I will carry on painting digitally.
Whilst sharing the footstool with Mia!
When she lets me!

It’s onwards and upwards now!

Thanks for reading, listening, viewing, commiserating, laughing and for just being YOURSELVES ❤️ I love you all. x

22 thoughts on “I couldn’t do it!

  1. Loosing my mother was all my loses piled into one: my dad, may sister, my brothers. It was really hard and it took me a long time to recover. It’s okay that you couldn’t go to hospice right now. There will be another time when you feel stronger. Your artwork is beautiful, Elaine. Have you considered selling them online? Just a thought 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What a great honest post. And you look gorgeous by the way! Love that color on you. I’m sure the cards will fly out and you’ll be undulated with orders.🥰🤗🥰👍👏👌❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. One year is still short within the span of grieving. I’m glad you knew your limits. Your gesture with the cards is just as beautiful with your husband delivering them. What a strong woman you are.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m not sure I really like the whole ‘you’re an inspiration’ thing, but it seems so fitting here, because you are. I’m not surprised this has left you with so many emotions recently. It’s a lot to process, a lot of memories and things going on and ‘moving forward’ is scary, too. I’m glad John was able to take these in. I didn’t have any doubt they’d love them. xx

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I would’ve probably been unable to do it as well. I knew they’d like them! What a scar, Elaine – wow! You’ve been through so much this year. It’s great to see you with your art and your new little kitty – the peace you need 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Wow, Mia actually shares the footstool with you?! You must be special..
    That scar is a trophy to your resilience, courage and survivability. It’s very neat.
    M had a lump removed from his thigh recently (it was benign but starting to turn). The dr who stitched him up must have been a learner. It was not neat sewing. Then she took them out too soon and it all opened up so he had to be restitched. This time I got him to leave them in for twice as long and took them out myself. His scar is only small compared to yours. And nowhere near as pretty.

    Liked by 1 person

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