Awake in the night!

I thought I would be clever and not have a sleep during the day yesterday to see if I would sleep better in the night! Guess what, it doesn’t work. Here I am wide awake. I’m so uncomfortable lying on my back, this scar prickles like crazy and if I lay on my side my heart seems to jump around if that makes sense!

I feel like there is a lot more room in my chest which makes sense I suppose if the tumour in my heart was the size of a cricket ball 🎳 opps sorry that’s a bowling ball but my emoji’s don’t have a cricket ball! Anyway if I cough or sneeze 🤧 I feel like my heart bounces which is not a nice feeling. It’s eight weeks today since it was removed so you would think that I would be used to it by now!

I had an eventful day yesterday 😊 I went to my hairdressers house to have my hair cut, my daughter had put some blonde highlights in my hair on Sunday ( to cover the grey) 😬 which seems to be spreading, I wouldn’t mind if it was that lovely platinum colour, I would be quite happy but no it’s that in between dirty grey colour!

The lift in our apartment block decided to break down on Saturday but there was no way that I was not going for my hair cutting, I see the surgeon on Wednesday and vanity made me go down the two flights of stairs to go to my appointment. I have to admit to being worried about getting back up but not enough to cancel my appointment. ☺️

Getting back up the 30 steps was actually easier than I thought with John behind me coaching me along 😏 I put on foot on the step then brought my other foot up to join it and did four steps then had a rest, then did four more. I felt very proud of myself when we reached our apartment, in fact I might try it again. 😉

I hopefully will feel better when I’ve seen the surgeon on Wednesday and he can tell me if there will be long term effects, it’s a strange one because all my arteries were fine as was my heart, I didn’t have heart disease just a ⚾️ ( found one ) cricket ball inside my heart 💓 which distorted the size of my heart. How could I not have felt that? It amazes me.

My appointment on Wednesday is 9.15 so it will be rush hour traffic all the way. We are thinking of setting off really early to miss some of the rush then having a Costa Coffee breakfast in the hospital 🥐☕️

Anyway it’s light outside now and I need to at least try to sleep again. I’ve done a painting to help me relax and I might listen to a relaxing meditation tape.

One things for sure, I’m going to continue having a sleep during the day!

Elaine x


  1. So glad to hear you are on the road to recovery. I definitely know that feeling of anxiety everytime my heart rate goes up. WOW… 2 flights of stairs is a huge achievement. I can’t even climb that many stairs anymore without getting breathless.

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