Awake in the night 7


We got the great news that mum is coming home today Tuesday 4 December and we are all delighted. Mum says she won’t actually believe it until she is home in her own house. She longs for peace and quiet and obviously her own television.

She is to have two carers going into her house four times a day to help with her daily care. Obviously my sister and I will still be going everyday to see her too. I spoke with McMillan nurse on the phone yesterday morning and asked her If she would go to see mum on the ward to reassure her that she actually was going home.

I knew mum had questions one of which was why was she actually feeling worse than she did when she came into the hospital. The McMillan nurse was wonderful, I cannot give enough praise to this band of nurses to me they truly are angels. I’ve seen three very different McMillan nurses yet they all have such a beautiful inner light. They are open and honest and true to themselves.

I only realised yesterday that it had finally hit mum that she had cancer and she was only going to get worse and not better. When we are given a diagnosis like this I think our first reaction is relief that finally we know what has been causing our discomfort. Then the fight begins, so many people can fight cancer and do win going on to live long lives. In mums case at 87 with stage four cancer in so many places that is not an option and it’s now just a waiting game.

The McMillan nurse answered mums question regarding leaving hospital feeling worse than she did pretty much as I had answered the question the day before. Only two weeks before mum was doing online shopping, internet banking and although her mobility was getting worse she could get up, get dressed and make herself a cup of tea. Then came the dizziness and the subsequent fall in her kitchen, how she got herself up from the floor amazes me, she crawled into the living room to pull herself up. That took such will and determination on her part, it would have been easy for her to give up and lie there until someone found her but she didn’t. I am so proud of her.

The fall was the due to dizziness which they think may have been caused by a urine infection which in the elderly is quite debilitating. The fall along with her cancer progression also appears to have taken away her mobility. She now has to face the fact that she will never get her mobility back.

Her stay in hospital has been a very difficult one, for her to be on a geriatric ward is hard enough on its own to bear without the feelings of helplessness because of her loss of mobility.

I know without doubt that just to be in her own surrounding will be a great comfort to mum, a big change, her settee has gone and a hospital bed has been put in its place in the living room. It looks cozy and inviting and still very much like home. She will meet her new carers, please God let them all get along well and hopefully we will have a period of calm if only for a short while until the next challenge rears it’s ugly head.

Hopefully I can get a little bit of normality back myself and be able to do some painting which I have missed like you would not believe.

Onwards and upwards ๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿ™‚