Awake in the night, not so much!


angel 2


I seem to be sleeping a little better now, it would appear that my new regime of going to visit mum everyday is helping me sleep.

It has been a very eventful two weeks with lots of visits from various organisations who come together when dealing with a cancer patient. My emotions are on a bit of a roller coaster at the moment but at least the crying has lessened in the night, obviously ๐Ÿ™„ย because Iโ€™m now asleep.๐Ÿ˜‰

My sister was with mum when the Macmillan nurse came and they all had a very open conversation regarding the stages mum would go through. Mum said she wanted to die at home, which when I heard sent me in to panic mode. I remember all too well sat by my dads bedside when he passed over but at least he was in a nursing home so help was at hand. This is something that I have to come to terms with. ๐Ÿ˜ณ

The lady told mum that she needed to get her pain under control and because one of her cancers is in her adrenal glands which sits on top of her kidneys, which are already diseased and now her kidney is fighting against it.

So her medication is now going to be changed to patches which will release pain relief through her skin therefore helping her kidneys. She will still have some tablets and the liquid pain relief which makes her see giant wood logs in front of the gas fire and smoke coming out of the TV. This apparently happens when taking too much liquid pain relief ๐Ÿ˜ฌ medicinal not the alcohol variety ๐Ÿ˜‰ย  ย  Hopefully this will make the pain easier when she stands up. She feels ok when she is laid down but obviously doesn’t want to lay down all day.

We are still having some laughs though which is good. Mum and I had this conversation the other day.

Mum: I’ve got wings now

Me: What!

Mum: You know that lady who moved in across road earlier this year, well I was telling our Mark ( my nephew) that the new woman across road had wings.

Me: what did Mark say

Mum: He said, what wings like a fairy? I told him no you fool wings that hang down! He then realised what she meant and replied, Ohย you mean bingo wings!

Me: laughing, so you have now got wings?

Mum: Yes but mine start from my lower arms!

Me: Yours would have to be bigger!

Mum: nodding in agreement.

Me: Well look on the bright side, when it’s your time you will be able to fly up to heaven.

Mum: With a twinkle in her eye said, I might be too weak.

Me: Shaking my head, I think you will manage somehow ๐Ÿ˜‰