I’ve just rung my mother to see how she is today, our conversation went like this.
Me: How are you today
Mum: Not bad, I’m just ironing
Me: Oh good, is our Christine (my sister) back home from the caravan, did she have a good time?
Mum: She’s back, I never asked if she’d had a good time, she rang me to ask if I wanted some fat balls for the birds because her husband was going for some today.
(He is an avid bird watcher, I married a train spotter and she married a twitcher!, hence they have a static caravan at Spurn Point.
Mum: I said yes he could get me some then thought afterwards why should I buy them fat balls when they eat them so quick so I rang her back and he answered.
Me: What did he have to say?
Mum: I told him not to bother getting me any fat balls because a big black bird flew into my kitchen window yesterday and nearly gave me a heart attack.
Me: Was he shocked?
Mum: He was more bothered about the bloody bird than me, he said ” oh dear was it alright? They can kill themselves doing that.”
Me: I bet that went down well 🙄😬
Mum: I told him never mind the bloody bird, it nearly killed me.
Me: laughing like mad. What did he say?
Mum: He said ” did it fly away?” I told him I did not look, I just saw it flop to the ground. Did he think I was going to run round the back to look!
Me: That would upset him
Mum: Yes and then he started telling me that they sell stickers to put on your windows to stop the birds from flying into them! AND did I want him to buy some for me!
Me: I could imagine how that went down
Mum: I told him it’s enough buying bloody fat balls and if they are stupid enough to fly into my window it’s their own fault. He didn’t like that, he thinks more of the damn birds than he does me.
Me: Oh mother, you will have upset him 😉
Mum: Never mind he will get over it, now if that’s it I will carry on doing my ironing
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