I think I have told you before that mum lives in a little bungalow in a neat little cul-de-sac. She moved there about 14 years ago with my Dad who has now passed. It’s a local authority bungalow and the cul-de-sac has always been a very desirable spot.
Gradually over the years the older people have passed and the local council have let what my mother calls the riff raff in. The younger end that don’t bother with putting nice curtains at their windows or leave their gardens to go out of control. They usually have a dog or two that barks late at night and all in all they have made the once beautiful cul-de-sac look worse than it used to.
Mum’s next door neighbour is a gay man of around 70, they get on like a house on fire, she likes his boyfriend who comes to stay occasionally too. Mum tells me that gay men like her. She has had a gay hairdresser too.
One lovely old lady across from mum passed away a month ago and a new man has moved in. Mum says he seems like a decent chap and gets on well with her gay next door neighbour. “Perhaps he is gay” I said. “Don’t be stupid” she replied, “the man has just had a heart attack”. “Does that mean he isn’t gay anymore” I said. “No,” she said, “are you a bit thick! If he has just had a heart attack he won’t be …. You know!” I could have played thick but I did not press her for an explanation.
She keeps telling me that the new man is very smart and that he must have some money because he has had some vertical blinds put up at his windows like hers. I asked her if she thought he was going to be my new dad. She was horrified, I knew she would be, there was only ever one man for my mother.
I think she thinks she is now the warden of the cul-de-sac, because the eldest living there is 95 and in mum’s opinion is away with the fairies. She tried visiting mum a few times but my mum sent her packing. I am so glad I was not there to witness that, mum does not do tactful.