My mother can’t understand why she is never successful with online clothes shopping this was our conversation.

Me: Hello Mum, how are you today.

Mum: I have just been emailing a company to tell them that the clothes that they sell are rubbish.. I don’t know what has happened to clothes, they are never big enough now.

Me:  You don’t think you need to order a bigger size then?

Mum: WHAT in the body? I am not suddenly longer waisted

Me: No but surely if you order a larger size, the trousers would pull up further

Mum: What are you talking about, they would be too big round my backside then.

Me: (I can’t help myself) Do you think it is maybe because you are a funny shape

Mum: AM I HELL a funny shape, you’re the funny shape

Me: It always comes back to me, do you make any wonder I grew up feeling self-conscious with a parent like you.

Mum:  Hmm did I ever tell you that you were adopted .

Me: Goodbye adopted mother!

I could hear her laughing as I put the phone down, I love my mother she has a brilliant sense of humour. I just hope she never reads these or she would not be happy!

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