Living the dream!



The turkeys to cook

The sprouts are to peel

I’m feeling light-headed

It feels quite surreal

Family are coming shortly

And nothing is cooking

Pass me that wine

Is it too late

To make a dinner booking

The children are screaming

And fighting each other

What happened to goodwill

And loving each other

My head is now aching

Maybe too much wine

Why did I suggest cooking?

Felt a good idea at the time

Now the ovens not working

Can this get any worse?

My panic is rising

And so is my voice

Screaming at my husband

Cancel the dinner

Just ring up your mother

then tell your brother

Your mother will gloat

She’ll be the winner

Not only the best cook

She is also far thinner

I jump up to start running

Then, I begin praying

My husband starts shouting

Then I start crying

I can’t cook the bloody dinner

I yell at the top of my voice

Wake up you’re dreaming

Was his reply


It’s all been a dream

I haven’t spoilt the dinner

My mother-in laws coming

And she’s not thinner

Oh, the relief that I feel

You would not believe

Thank you, dear God,

For giving me my reprieve.

I suddenly feel festive

And all serene

I haven’t spoilt Christmas dinner

It was just a bad dream

Feeling quite calm I snuggle down in my bed

Then niggling thoughts start in my head


(now what time should I put the turkey in, hope the oven does work, perhaps I should just go and check)


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