Mother knows best and the Christmas spirit

( I found this on my laptop from a couple of years ago so I thought I would share some Christmas joy, Mum style).

I have just been having a conversation with Ebeneezer sorry that should be my mother who is complaining bitterly that she has too many Christmas presents to wrap and she is never buying rolls of wrapping paper again because it’s a bloody nuisance cutting it up. She then went on to say if she is still alive next year they are all getting money.

“This is your family you are talking about” I reminded her.

“My family” she said,” if they did not act like damn rabbits, having more and more children it would be better,” it’s never ending.

She then went on to tell me that  she has received a card from her new next door neighbour, who she had taken an instant dislike to and in her words, she said:

“I was wrapping these stupid presents and I happened to lift my head up to see that big silly beggar from next door going around delivering cards so I got up to see if he had sent me one”.

“And did he” I asked.

“You what” she said,” it’s the frostiest, coldest card I have ever seen”

“At least he has sent you one” I said.

“Well he shouldn’t have bothered” she said, “he wont be getting one from me.”

I started laughing and said “Mum I feel a diary entry coming on here”; she had to laugh and said “oh yes you use me to laugh about. Anyway I might not be here next year and then just remember how happy it will make me that I don’t have to do all this wrapping for you lot”

“Oh, yes” I said “let’s look on the bright side.”

“Oh go away”, she said and hung up!

PS She did send her neighbour a Christmas card in return, (obviously it was the coldest looking card she could find.)

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