Now my mum lives in a lovely little one bed bungalow, owned by the local authority in a quiet little cul-de-sac, which has around 18 houses all with nice sized gardens.
This may surprise you to know but mum is well-known on the cul-de-sac and respected as a woman who keeps to herself but is always up for a laugh, She has had several neighbours adjoining her and there has always been some sort of drama, here is one such story.
After the house next door to mum had been empty for a while, some activity started. Mum has a chair near the window and she noticed that a rather large man was moving in. The day after he moved in he saw mum hanging out her washing and came out to say hello.
His name was John and he was a character, he was Polish and an ex-chef and he liked a laugh which suited mum down to the ground. He told her that he would make a goulash and invite her round for tea. Now mum was horrified and as I’ve said before she is not one for socializing and she declined his offer because as she put it, she was more into plain cooking.
The smells she used to complain about coming through his kitchen window!
Now John likes a drink, a bit too much really and because he was a large man he purchased a motability scooter, much to mum’s amusement he would set off after lunch to go down to the local pub for a few beers.
When he got back it would bedtime and he would try to steer the scooter through the gate, not always succeeding and then go to bed, putting on his TV in the bedroom.
Now as I have said before, Mum has the ears of a bat and is a very light sleeper. She was losing sleep and patience with John. Not one to run to the Local Authority she decided she would tell him that leaving his TV on all night was not an option.
One morning she went round to his house around 10am in the morning and knocked on his door. Well she said he answered the door in just his underpants, in her words his big belly was hung over and for a moment she was speechless and forgot why she had even gone round to see him. She said she nearly passed out from the shock!
I wish I had been there. When she composed herself she said. Now look John I can’t be having you leaving your television on all night, it is disturbing my sleep. She said this whilst looking down his path, anywhere rather than looking at his underpants.
“I sorry Betty he said, I fall asleep because I am so tired.”
“You fall asleep because you have drunk too much” replied mum.
He laughed at that, thank goodness.
“You need to get some earphones mum said or turn it off or I will have to report you”.
“OK Betty love, I will do this” was his reply.
Shortly after he was banned from driving his scooter. When under the influence he nearly caused an accident due to erratic driving; so he stopped going out.
Sadly after that he took his cooking skills up to heaven.
One of several of Mum’s neighbours bites the dust.
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